From Profound to Divine
by Nagaku Tsuzuku Yami
Summary: As punishment for concealing his affections for Dean, Naomi enacts a form of punishment that was meant to strike against both Dean and emotionally at Castiel. She did not however expect what actually happened. True Form!Cas alert
1. Introduction

**Title: **From Profound to Divine  
**Characters/Pairings: **Castiel true!form, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester (never in the same area as Cas). Pairing: Cas/Dean  
**Summary:** As punishment for concealing his affections for Dean, Naomi enacts a form of punishment that was meant to strike against both Dean and emotionally at Castiel. She did not however expect what actually happened.

**Introduction**

Naomi, a superior of sorts that Castiel was well aware of now under careful management after he started to catch on to what was going on around him. She made it incapable of lies being spoken in her presence, and even someone like Castiel was not above that power. And for some time, he was affected by her powers and didn't remember it until too many people who came in and out of the Winchester's, Kevin and his others lives knew too much.

Immediately the finger was pointed at Castiel.

And it hurt, but it was also what got him thinking at first which led to him figuring things out. So as far as Castiel was concerned, no hard feelings. He understood and with his track record up to falling into Purgatory he did not blame them. How could he when he has done such horrible things. Things that were near irredeemable. If not forever irredeemable. But he'll try all the same.

He hast to.

For himself. For Dean. For Sam. For Bobby's memory. For his fallen brethren. For his creator, his Father.

He has to. It was the same kind of drive that causes a dehydrating man to hunger for water.

And so in order to get smart with his planning and the plots that he and the others came up with Castiel started to practice lying to her. Small ones, lies hidden in truths about small details like what Dean ate for lunch or what Sam had to drink. The colour of clothing Kevin Tran was wearing.

It was risky and far more risky then anyone else could imagine. Castiel knows what could happen if he fails and if he's caught. He kept that part hidden from Dean especially. Despite everything they managed to get past it in Purgatory. Purgatory was a blessing in disguise in that department. In fact it gave Castiel time to think and deal with things.

It took two months on Earth for her to figure it out.

It was on one of the most devastating secrets for him to have. It had nothing to do with what Dean eats on what days, it didn't have anything to do with what Sam drinks or what Kevin wears. It had to do with none of those.

And she was enraged. Thunder storms rolled in the skies above them letting all know of her anger. She stood face to face with Castiel, only vessels but it wasn't hard for Castiel to imagine their true forms standing in each others faces and wings stretched wide in aggressive arches.

It fell apart for him when she asked him of his personal connections to his former charge, Dean Winchester. Castiel didn't know what enraged him further, the fact that she was asking or the fact that she is referring to Dean as his former charge. Dean was much more then that to Castiel. Far more then what she could understand in all her vast knowledge for truly she knows nothing. And Castiel told her as much. She can't angry with that, she's the one who wants the truth and so Castiel gave it. It just wasn't the truth she wanted.

Castiel did try to tell her that his connection to Dean was platonic and friendship. Nothing more and nothing less. He was trying to protect Dean. And as usual, Dean was his down fall as well as Dean could be his salvation.

Dean was going to be his downfall here.

And Castiel found himself okay with that.

She knows this, saw this and smiles for it. Castiel levels her with a glare that could get most to back off, a glare that makes the King of Hell wary. She just smiles. Always smiling because she was conniving. That much Castile now knows. Understands it because at one time so was he, but he was doing it in good intentions and going about it the wrong way. Mistakes. All of it, but fixable here and now because he gained that option.

He wanted to do it right this time.

"Don't worry Castiel, I will not strike you down. You are valued and wanted and needed." Naomi spoke, her voice posh and proper and Castiel frowns. He doesn't ask for clarification, he knows it's going to be bad. Instinct sketched into his very grace tells him so.

She proceeded to explain just what she was going to do.

And fear swelled up inside of him. Not for himself, but for Dean who he knows is alone and unprotected and so unaware of what was about to happen. Before Castiel could try to do anything a couple of her loyalists appeared and assisted her. He could feel the grace around him coiling and yanking and squeezing and pulling.

He could feel his own grace shift to accommodate what they were doing because they tricked him subconsciously to make him feel like he wasn't threatened. Not an easy thing to do in a situation where he's surrounded by grace and angels like these. But that was probably the job of the two new comers or at least one of them.

"I'm going to go send you in this shrunken puny version of your true form, altered as it is to be a proper Seraph to your human." She told him, Castiel remembers the malice laced underneath her words. And then just like that he was falling. Pleading for Dean to not be at the cabin where Castiel left him. Pleading for someone to intervene somehow. Save Dean from this.

Humans could not grasp the sight of an angel let alone a Seraph or even an Archangel. It would kill them.

And he was going to kill Dean just by existing and going down to Earth in a form he shouldn't be able to hold there. But it felt stiff and too firm to be normal.

He kept saying sorry in Enochian and English and every other human language over and over again as he fell.

~Death and Chuck~

Death watched with an mild expression showing his annoyance. Children these days just don't know how to follow the proper order of things. Not like Death, and he was old enough to appreciate the natural flow of things. What lives, lives. What needs to die, will die. What is to be seen, will be seen. What shouldn't be seen, will never be known. That was how things are, how they always will be.

Yet no one followed the rules. No one.

And yet the Creator of all things, just not in your atypical Religious view of things way did nothing to interfere in the lack of rule following leaving Death to clean up the mess. It was a well known fact to Death that He liked science and read the foolish magazines. Got a laugh at the whole 'six days' thing. Humans were such children, messy and destructive and thoughtful.

"That's why I like them." A man dressed pleasantly enough and known to anyone who read the books as Chuck casually said as he sat at the table with the fourth Horseman and one of the oldest creations in this universe. But also not as known as God in this form, not many would have ever guessed that he took the form of one of his own prophet's. Cliche if you asked Death.

"This is why I find them troublesome." Death retorted calmly as he finished off the extra large soda he bought from a fast food restaurant in Canada.

"You like them." Chuck calmly replied.

"Hardly. And now your third generation is misbehaving again and toying with the fate of a member of the fourth generation of yours." Death calmly stated while not actually putting much effort into fighting with the optimist's words. It would be incommodious to say the least.

"It'll be okay." Chuck calmly stated, Death knows he's not one to really get involved with things but he gives a little push here and there. A revival here and there and a sign every now and again. Death finds it annoying, he doesn't always follow his own rules. But Death knows by now to fight with him was to fight with a daft optimist set in his ways. And he liked the company.

"I figured as much." Death acknowledged as he set down the empty cup.

"Another burger?" Chuck offered holding out a burger now from a small fast food restaurant in Tokyo.

"And fries." Death accepted taking the burger while the light show disappeared into the cabin they watched from afar. The Impala that was headed back was blocked by a traffic jam that normally doesn't happen in small towns. Like Death always says to himself, his old friend never follows his own rules of letting what will be, be as it is.

**Authoress Note:** This is pretty much me just playing around.

:) Enjoy :)


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Dean was attempting to watch television, Sam went to go pick up some groceries which he hoped would include pie as well. Things between Sam and himself was still a bit rocky after the Benny incident and having Benny spied on behind Dean's back. But that situation gave Sam enough proof that Benny was okay, still a bloodsucker but okay. It doesn't always help that Benny had a habit of annoying Sam just for the sake of it.

And Castiel, Cas. His friend. His something? Dean really couldn't put a name to it, it wasn't something that he expected to form but Hell and the Apocalypse and not to mention Purgatory, that leaves a mark on you and leaves a bond with who went through it with you in some way or another. A mark that can't be destroyed or lost. Just frayed and wounded, but still there.

Castiel still wants to be a hunter, something Dean could understand even more so after Purgatory. The need to help people and earn redemption. For Dean, that mindset of wanting redemption started to form after Hell because he broke and turned and twisted so many souls. So he could get on board with what Cas wanted in that department. He wasn't crazy with the plan to lie to an angel who can't be lied to. Still, Cas needed help so Dean and Sam tried to help him as best that they could. He hoped, no prayed that it would work.

Dean wondered what was taking Castiel so long, he said that he would only be a minute or so. Or more correctly told him about five minutes and thirty six seconds. Usually he doesn't go to that length to be accurate but sometimes Castiel get's, well he gets cheeky. Dean hasn't figured out if Cas learnt that from Sam or himself.

Checking his watch he noted it to be about ten minutes now. He was about ready to start praying and purposely agitating the seraph to get him back down here.

Sitting up with an annoyed sigh he just started to say Castiel's name when the windows started to rattle and the entire cabin thrummed with power and shaking. The lights flickered and a buzzing sound echoed in the air, in reaction Dean covered his ears to block the buzzing and chimes damaging his ears in some way. Eventually he grabbed the colt and moved out of the centre of the room so he won't be caught in a nasty situation.

"Shit..." Dean hissed as the light in the room became brighter and brighter before the windows shattered spraying glass shards everywhere and forcing Dean to duck for cover in order to protect himself from sharp edges that might cause him injury no matter how big or small.

And just as quickly everything went dark. Outside dark and ominous clouds rumbled. Dean cursed again as he moved so he was kneeling properly. Looking up slightly he saw...

Wings?

Dean frowned. They were almost black in the limited light. Though Dean knows that black isn't the original colour, but what colour it was suppose to be was beyond him at the moment. Peeking out from behind the upturned loveseat he nearly gasped at what he saw.

It wasn't human! Not even in appearance.

Three heads! It had three heads. A lion. An eagle and a, well a humanoid one. Pale grey skin. Blue skin or something like that near the man part of the body. Dean let his eyes wonder in shock as he noted the thing was wearing a skirt. Four arms, starting at the elbows. Two sets were blue, like parts on the main body.

Grace?

Was this an... An angel? A seraph, because if he remembered correctly Zachariah mentioned he had a head of a lion. But he was dead. So who else did he know who was a Seraph...

"Cas..." Dean said in slight confusion. His shoulder, where Castiel left his mark thrummed softly almost as a response of such a being. Immediately the thing-Cas looked up and his face was uncovered.

Five eyes. Two black, two white and one with the only humanoid appearance to it in the form of a pupil that singled him out. The angel, the seraph. Castiel looked shocked and increasingly confused. Dean jumped slightly when the wings moved towards Castiel's massive unnaturally slender body and folded up. Two large and one small set closer to his waist area. Dean frowned, why was he examining such a form.

"Castiel." Dean repeated. Slowly getting up, he was making novice mistakes by the dozens here. Mistakes that could get him killed, get Sammy killed. But something about this being told him it was safe.

Instantly it, Cas, started to speak rapidly. And Dean was nearly overwhelmed. It was loud but not ear bursting. Wincing and covering his ears momentarily until the... talking stopped. It sounded like a bunch of a chorus he can't place. And chimes.

"Keep it down... And slower, can't understand you buddy." Dean said as he got a little braver and stood up straight and walked from around to the halfway point between where he was and where Castiel was currently sitting uncomfortably no doubt. The guy can barely sit up in the room without touching the roof. He was three times Dean's size.

**'You can see me?' **Castiel said, voice not sounding human at all. When he spoke, Dean could still swear he heard chimes and a chorus of sorts but that took a back seat and seemed to only echo underneath what he's assuming is Enochian. But then, how could he understand the language of the angels? Dean never learnt how from Castiel! Something was going on and Dean wanted to find out what, but first things first.

Castiel who was now shifting and knocking things over.

"Hey... Careful... But ya, I could see you... You have a line for a mouth." Dean said as he braved it and approached Castiel and moved things out of his way so he could shift into a semi-comfortable position. Laying down on his stomach. Instantly the mouth opened to prove that he had one, just a small one with no lips.

"Guess I now know why you were a virg... What?" Dean said as he tried to play off an innocent look. It was unmistakable that he was glared at.

**'I was not supposed to have a mouth at all, only Archangels form such humanoid similarities.' **Castiel explained, still speaking slowly and in Enochian. How could he understand him! It was driving Dean nuts. It didn't make sense, but then again since Angels came on board when it comes to Dean's radar of the supernatural nothing really made perfect sense anymore. Sometimes things were violent, sometimes peaceful and other times just plain nutty.

"Why do you then?" Dean asked forgetting about some things as he inched closer.

**'You. You made your mark on me as I have you.' **Castiel answered calmly. Dean nodded, it made sense he figured.

As much as he wanted to, figure things out about Cas in this form and satiate his own curiosity there was other pressing matters. Like Sam and how Cas got like this. Where was his vessel? Where was Jimmy?

"What happened Cas?" Dean asked and instantly backed off when the lion head started to snarl, it's features and oddly white eyes showed looks of anger.

**'Naomi happened, she has made it so I was a shrunken form of myself and sent me here in hopes that my true form would cause your death.' **Castiel snarled out, the chimes and chorus underneath his words turned from calm to angry reflecting the angels mood perfectly. It was enough to almost knock his equilibrium off for a moment.

Dean cursed her viciously though. Dean knows that in doing so, she attempted to cause emotional harm on Castiel and probably succeeded in making him fear for the worst.

**'I hear a vehicle. Sam has returned.' **Castiel said breaking through Dean's vicious thoughts.

"Shit." Dean cursed. He couldn't risk either Cas or Sam being harmed by this situation.

**'He cannot see me, you somehow are able to. I do not want to risk any more exposure.' **Castiel stated and Dean nodded rapidly as he instantly moved towards the door.

"Ya... Got it. Wait here." Dean quickly said over his shoulder and flinched at the last part of what he said. Wait here, there was no where else Castiel could go.

* * *

**Authoress Note: **Not much of a description was given of Castiel's true form because Dean hasn't gotten too comfortable yet to really start looking over the angel in the cabin.

-In order to see the picture you have to go into my profile page and click on my deviantart link which will take you to where I post my artwork, it's titled "True!Form Castiel" by NagakuTsuzukuYami. I'd post the link... But won't allow that.

I drew this myself, so hopefully it looks half decent. The wings are crap, but those are my first attempts at drawing wings. I'll get better with time.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Dean managed to get outside and closed the door behind him so nothing could look in or out. Instantly he could tell that Sam was confused and blocking his eyes from light that Dean can't see. He figures that this was the exposure Cas was talking about, he maybe able to see Castiel in such a form but others didn't have the ability obviously.

"Dean, what's going on?" Sam demanded as he got out of the car and Dean approached. Sam looked everywhere but where the windows were because the curtains weren't closed completely and there must be light shining through.

Dean let out a slight nervous laugh, if you could call it that. If anything it was just a short noise.

"That's Cas, but Cas in big shrunken three headed form. I don't know where his vessel is but he's stuck in the cabin..." Dean answered, a forced smirk on his face. Dean was still trying to get used to the situation and now he had to explain it to Sam.

"The light doesn't bother you?!" Sam ended up blurting out, any anger that Sam could have been feeling from when Dean got back from Purgatory was currently missing in favour of being concerned. It helped that his worries about Benny was fading. Benny really was a good guy, despite being a vampire.

"I don't see light Sam, that's why I'm out here talking to you before you go in there by accident and burn your eyes out." Dean explained as he leaned against the roof of the Impala and hopefully blocking some of the view so not as much light could bother Sam. Hopefully.

"How come you could see him?" Sam asked, almost like he was slightly put out by not being able to see Castiel in such a form but not enough to really start the bitter pity-party his little brother could start at times.

"I don't know?" Dean answered honestly, a shrug and an attempt to figure out why. But he came up with nothing.

"Why is he like that on earth?" Sam pushed and Dean frowned.

"I don't know." Dean said though he let it be heard in his tone that he actually doesn't know and doesn't want to answer more questions that would unavoidably end with that same answer.

Silence fell between them, they both know that Sam would have to stay at a hotel for tonight. Sam was curious though, that much Dean could see.

"Guess I'll go rent a room at the hotel and start looking into things." Sam finally said as he sorted through the bag of groceries he bought for supplies.

"Ya." Dean acknowledged as he scratched the side of his neck absentmindedly.

"So he has three heads?" Sam said out of the blue, his tone telling Dean that they were on a safe ground in the conversation.

"And two arms that split into four arms at the elbows. His grace is blue and his skin is light grey-ish. Big wings and a skirt thing. And he's noisy." Dean added, a smirk played as the thought of Cas having four arms.

"Huh..." Sam acknowledged, obviously trying to picture what Dean said.

"Ya. Go, I'll call you if anything changes. Watch out for angels who might be working for Naomi, she's the one who did this to Cas in hopes that it causes my death and whatnot. So watch yourself." Dean said, his voice warning Sam against any danger and trusting that his brother would be able to handle himself.

"Why do I hear loud buzzing and screeching?" Sam ended up asking as he covered his mouth.

"Cas is just complaining about what I'm telling you." Dean answered, loud enough for Sam to hear without straining. With that he took about half the food and went back into the cabin, making sure Cas stopped talking long enough for him to get settled. The kitchen was more or less untouched. But aside from that, the bedroom and the bathroom there wasn't really all that much room outside of the small spaces where Castiel wasn't currently laying on.

It was going to be one of those kinds of weeks.

"Sam's gone to a hotel." Dean explained as he made sure the curtains were properly closed, he may not see the bright light that an angel naturally gives off but others can and he knows that it could literally burn their eyes out.

**'I am sorry to cause trouble.' **Castiel apologized, and true to his word he probably didn't mean to put such a situation on their shoulders so the guilt Dean heard was genuine.

"Don't worry about it." Dean shrugged, contrary to belief he wasn't a complete asshole. But he had his moments, and they were more frequent these days then they used to be a few years ago when things were closer to normal then now. Not completely normal but almost there. And for Dean, the hunting life is normal.

**'Why did you have to tell Sam about what I look like?' **Castiel asked suddenly, it was obvious he was annoyed with that fact. He'll get over it, Cas was good that way. Dean just looked at him flatly for a moment before starting to move towards the kitchen.

"Because he asked, who's he going to tell Cas?" Dean answered on his way into the kitchen in search for a beer or something and to put the groceries that Sam left him with away.

Once inside the kitchen he managed to find a place where he was unseen by Castiel's three heads. A lion head that actually looks like a lions head just with white eyes with no pupil's, which sent shivers down his spine because it was always creepy to look into white eyes. Dean knows that from experience, Alastair had white eyes more or less. Castiel had an eagle's head that had proper eyes so it was slightly less creepy to look at but still didn't change the fact that the dude had an actual eagle's head that was bigger then the size of an eagle altogether.

And then there was the five eyed humanoid head. The one with a mouth Cas shouldn't have. Demonic eyes that didn't feel demonic, white eyes and then one with a blue pupil in the centre of his forehead. No hair or anything of that sort. But still.

It was weird to say the least. Grace arms and normal-ish arms. A body that looked like it was formed around the grace at the angel's core. And the wings. Three sets altogether. Two large ones that obviously are somehow used for flight and then a small set that was as far as he could see sprouting from the middle of Cas's back rather then his shoulder blades like Dean figures wings would come from if the shadows he saw those few times with Cas was any indication.

He could hear the angel moving around and breaking things every now and again which would prompt an immediate cease of movement. They really got to find somewhere bigger for Cas to be. But Dean was at a loss for what to do.

Dean felt his phone vibrate and looked at the text, Sam forgot about his bag which had his clothing and laptop in it. And Dean now had to figure out a way to get over Castiel to get to the bedrooms and fetch Sam's bag and he wondered where Sam's laptop was. He hoped that Cas didn't land on it.

Exiting the kitchen he could tell without seeing the emotion that Castiel was concerned for him.

"It's fine Cas... How you holding up anyway?" Dean asked as he found the laptop in surprisingly one piece. Putting it in it's case he set it by the door.

**'I am cramped and my wings are cramped and it's awkward trying to move one head when you have three that are stuck in a small cabin. But aside from that, I am fine. Thank you.' **Castiel answered and for a moment it almost sounded like he was pouting.

"Don't worry, we'll figure this out. Um... I need to get to the bedrooms behind your ass." Dean said as he tried to figure out if he could either climb over or squeeze around the long way. Dean felt a poke to his side confirming that he could touch the angel without being burned or anything. So maybe he could climb over then.

**'I am sorry to cause you trouble.' **Castiel apologized, obviously feeling sheepish at the moment. Dean waved it off and noted that the guy was very think despite being bigger then Dean and Sam now. So climbing over won't be bad just awkward. He had to avoid the smaller set of wings.

"Here goes nothing..." Dean muttered to himself as he set to climb over Castiel who helped him as best as the angel could. It was weird to find himself straddling an angel's hip for a moment before sliding off and behind the angel.


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Castiel was still guilt ridden, but he was grateful that he didn't blind or kill Dean with his true form. Silently he gave thanks to his Father, not quite sure if it was his creator who made this possible but still a thanks and an acknowledgement was owed. And Castiel was not high and mighty to a point where he won't give credit or thanks to where it's due.

It was a weird sensation to have Dean crawling over what could be considered his hip but it wasn't bad either. Sam was the unlucky one, he couldn't look upon Castiel like Dean was obviously able to. With a shift of his smallest set of wings he pushed Dean the rest of the way so that his charge and above all else his friend could make it over. Castiel could sense the curiosity bubbling in Dean, better then disgust or anything else that Castiel could or could not come up with.

"Let me know if you two need anything else?" Sam yelled through the door the second it closed and he was safe from Castiel's appearance.

"A bigger cabin!" Dean yelled back. Castiel could have told him that it was a pointless request, Sam would not be able to get something like that.

"Can't help there." Sam replied, Castiel could taste the regret in Sam's words and wished to counsel the boy. But that was not what was required this second. Sam had to re-learn to do without until things were back to normal, Dean no doubt would make it up to Sam then. He always makes it up to Sam when he can.

"Then no." Dean said, like Castiel expected it lacked the bite that it would have if it was anyone other then Sam on the other side of the door. Sam would take that fact with him to deal with the curt words being dealt his way.

Castiel didn't bother saying anything, Sam's ear's would be hurting in response to even a whisper. But a nudge and a strong silent hint prompted Dean to thank Sam for him.

Castiel could tell Dean feels regret at his own curt words and fears of being abandoned again. Dean has been abandoned and left so many times he comes to expect it. A neglected child in the scheme of things. Neglected in one way or another from the night his Mother died. Sam had to deal with the same neglect but he at least had his older brother.

They both were so flawed and so broken but they somehow make it and somehow make each other human. It was a miracle they could still function at all.

Castiel watched Dean's eyes travel to his wings. Wings were not what one shares openly but they weren't hidden either. They just were. And no wing, like a human thumbprint was the same. Sometimes they don't even resemble what humans would consider wings at all. Sometimes they don't have feathers like a bird at all.

Each and everyone of the angels of any rank's true form is actually simply a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent. It was the main reason for the differences, unlike humans they don't look like they're from the same species because each and everyone one of them serves a purpose no matter how small or how great.

And it is because of that reason that Castiel's form shifted and changed as he grew more powerful and increased in size. Normally he would have one set of wings. Now he has three. Although only one set shows when he's wearing his vessel in order to not strain the back of Jimmy.

"So, what now?" Dean asked finally as he approached Castiel, Castiel watched him with all of his eyes as best that he could with the awkward position he was at.

'**I do not know, this has never happened before.' **Castiel answered, though he figures the question wasn't so much about what form he was in but about what there was to do in the small cabin that seems to be equivalent of a tree house in Castiel's mind.

"You know what I mean." Dean snapped.

**'Yes, and I repeat. "I do not know, this has never happened before." I do not even know if there is a place secluded enough for us to go rather then here, it is a tight fit.' **Castiel said again making sure to repeat each word as he originally said it. It would aggravate Dean but that was okay simply because someone breathing too loud could annoy the Eldest Winchester.

"Not even in the mountains of any country for that matter?" Dean suggested as he put one of the chairs upright and sat down looking towards Castiel with idle curiosity and still a bit unsure.

**'Perhaps, but I would have to concentrate on where it would be best to go.' **Castiel acknowledged as he put more thought into that idea. He would go alone.

"Okay then, we can do that. You get to stretch your wings and make sure you don't get a sore neck... necks... Do you have one neck or three?" Dean said, though Castiel found him trailing off at the end. Castiel knows he should take some offence at the blunt questions about his appearance but couldn't bring himself to.

**'One.' **Castiel informed Dean while concentrating on where it would be best to go that is unnoticed by humans or wouldn't be stumbled on by accident.

"What about their, uh the lion and eagle's mouth then?" Dean pushed, no doubt spurred on by Castiel answering.

**'I do not eat, so that is not an important development in appearances but they can make the necessary noises the animal's would regularly make in response to my... moods.' **Castiel explained, perhaps the fact that his heads are the area where his emotions are shown is the reason why he cannot always get the human face of Jimmy to show what he was feeling as easy as he would have liked. It wasn't impossible for him, but it was a feat in itself.

"Guess the lack of eating came in handy when you were created then." Dean ended up saying and Castiel let out a slight huff that would fall unnoticed to the musing human sitting beside him.

**'I did not have this form when I was first created, this is what I became after I was upgraded. It is why it isn't as smooth as others appearances.' **Castiel corrected calmly before deciding on a spot that was secluded and buried between mountains. Not an easy place to get to by any means of human transportation.

"If I didn't know better I'd say you were self-conscious..." Dean started, an attempt at a joke. Castiel thinks at least, he's not fully sure of the range of joking humans are able to do. That included Dean because he hasn't seen much of Dean's 'joking' side due to events that usually are happening that brings them together.

**'Dean that is not funny. I was not intended to appear this way nor was I intended for being a seraph.' **Castiel interrupts abruptly.

Castiel could feel Dean's uncertainty and regret almost like it was a mental slap directed at himself for what he said. Castiel sighs to himself, he was not self conscious but it wasn't lost on him that this was not what he originally looked like.

"I didn't mean it that way... You look fine okay, like Cas and that's good enough..." Dean said though he gave sounds of embarrassment directed at himself. Dean was not one to speak about something like that openly. Still either way, Castiel was touched.

**'Thank you...' **Castiel figured that it would be the best thing to say, not that it would make situations easier if the sound of shock and still with an underline of embarrassment was anything to go by.

"Ya... Okay enough of the chick flick moment and if you tell Sam, I'll kick your ass." Dean ordered, and Castiel would accept the moment for what it was.

**'You will not be able to reach my... ass.' **Castiel took what was offered and ran with it. Letting tension slide from the room. Either way it got the reaction he was silently hoping for, Dean chuckled.

"So, you figure anything out yet?" Dean asked, changing the direction of conversations back to the original one about where to go.

**'Yes, there is a place where I...'** Castiel answered, preparing to say that it would be best that he went alone. Although he should have seen the interruption coming before it came.

"We Cas, I'm not letting you run off on your own until we know exactly what we're dealing with here. Had your sorry ass run off before and nothing good came out of it on any end..." Dean snapped, tension and anger that was ever present in Dean was instantly back. But Castiel read between the lines. Dean was worried and concerned, he was not one to let someone he considers to be a friend enter a situation alone. Not if he has a say in it.

**'Dea...' **Castiel tried to say, but this was what he got when he was friends with someone as stubborn as Dean was.

"We're both going or nothing, got that." Dean growled out, standing firm and staring Castiel down.

Fifteen minutes passed and neither of them budged. It was a losing fight, because it was rare that he could refuse Dean much of anything.

**'Very well Dean.' **Castiel gave in.


	5. The Dreaded AN

The unfortunate A/N chapter post that I normally don't like and try as I might, not to do. But I see no other way to let those who actually read my stories know about what's going on and why there's no update of anything.

I have a few reasons and not all of them good...

1- I'm currently watching and reading a bunch of MV's and stories for the show "Sherlock" on BBC, it's a great show with some great stories to read and MV's on youtube to watch. Sherlock has been my distraction to keep me from drowning in the other two reasons.

2- On January 8 my sister died due to medical reasons, I was gone for a week to go see how my Auntie is doing (her actual mother but I just call her my sister because we're close or at least we were) and to view her body and say our 'farewells' though I for one did not say 'Good Bye' because we all die one day and yes I do believe in Heaven or the Great Forest or whatever you want to believe in so I'm hoping that one day I can fulfil my promise and be able to meet her again and tell her my stories of how things went when it comes to my life.

3- My Grandma is on life support after emergency surgery yesterday. We have yet to find out what's happening...

So yes, not a good month so far and I can't bring myself to write right now due to the themes I tend to use in my story are deal with twisted crap and angst normally and I just don't feel up to it right now. I will still be lingering and reading stories and if I can and feel up to it I will review. If I haven't reviewed stories that I normally do up to this point I apologize it most likely slipped my mind while I was concerning other things.

I apologize and hopefully at some point either this month or next I'll start trying to write again.

Again, sorry.


	6. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Dean found that they were within deep part of a forest that Dean didn't recognize from photo's or anything like that. Dean frowned as he turned and eyed a crouching Castiel who seemed much more pleased with things if the stretching of his wings was any indication.

"Where are we?" Dean asked as he turned to a stretching angel who stood as tall as a few story building not including the massive wingspans. Dean couldn't help but find himself astonished by the sight as he couldn't help but think about the fact that Castiel normally was the size of the Chrysler building and again not including wingspan. He almost whistled at that.

**'A forest within Canada where there is little to no chance at being found by hikers.' **Castiel explained as he stretched his senses to ensure that he was correct and there was no deep forest hikers or campers anywhere near. Only the wildlife that fled the area in fright due to a creature they are not familiar with but eventually they will know that Castiel means no harm and because they are his Father's creatures they will not be afraid. He would protect Dean though should that come to pass.

"Wait, what? Canada?! Why Canada?" Dean asked, he didn't actually have anything against Canada personally he was just caught off guard.

**'Less people then in the United States. More unpopulated area's.' **Castiel explained as he sat down and Dean frowned again while thinking that over.

"Oh-kay. Well at least you can stretch now." Dean said as he rubbed the back of his neck. What was he going to do out here? It was easy to say that he didn't really think this through, he just didn't want his only friend to be alone in a stressful time. It was the least he could do.

**'I will provide what you need and there are streams and rivers within my sight that you can use to drink and bath.' **Castiel calmly said as he eyed the area without moving his heads that much.

"Really getting back to nature here..." Dean huffed though he didn't want to say that this reminded him of Purgatory to some extent. Just without everything trying to kill him and there was sun.

**'There is no threats here aside from local wildlife but even they will not harm you. I am here.' **Castiel calmly stated and Dean watched the four hands touch the ground gently and spread petite fingers wide while feeling the earth underneath them. It dawned on Dean that Cas probably hasn't really been in contact with Earth in his true form for a long time if ever.

He wanted to ask but instead explored the area cautiously. Easing his own childish fears if anything. There wasn't much he could do. From what Dean could see, Castiel was more at peace now then he was within the tight confines of the cabin where he was cramped and faced with his own guilt of what was supposed to have happened.

Dean wasn't entirely sure if this question was right or wrong. But he had to ask, he was curious about the being who was sitting on his ass and crossed legs covered by the skirt thing.

"What did you look like before, if not like this?" Dean asked as he re-approached the angel calmly, it was probably rude but he wasn't always known for being polite.

**'Not like this, I only had two heads and only my middle head matched what I had before. Less eyes, less power. Only one set of wings. Smaller.' **Castiel answered, though Dean could tell that he was only simplifying it a lot for Dean's sake and not only that his answer was blunt and Dean figures the angel probably didn't want to speak of it. Dean felt a bit guilty for that.

Nodding he considered saying something to make up for that but what could he say that isn't counted as a chick flick moment? He could say that Castiel looked bad ass as he is, but that could be easily twisted around to fit a chick flick moment and Dean wasn't fond of the idea of that even though the angel in front of him did have the look of being bad ass with the wings and all.

**'Thank you Dean.' **Castiel stated, Dean knows the angel did what he usually doesn't do now because he knows that Dean doesn't like it. He read his mind and in doing so gave Dean an out. He could get mad at Cas now though it'll most likely lack the heat of actual anger.

"Damn it Cas, stop that." Dean snaps and like he already knows, it didn't hold the heat of actual anger. With that though things would be left as is. And Dean couldn't complain about that. There was little to do now while Dean regarded his surroundings. His phone didn't have any service out here so there was no chance of contacting Sam to tell him what's going on.

Dean watched those wings stretch again. It was so tempting to just walk over and touch them. He wondered what they would be like to touch. So far he's avoided them. Without even thinking, Dean found himself standing next to Castiel not even a few minutes later with a hand touching a suddenly very still wing. One of the small wings that if stretched out was the same height as him.

**'Dean...' **

Dean heard Castiel say but he didn't really focus on that as he focused on the soft texture of the wing beneath his hand. It felt alive and powerful and almost inviting.

**'Dean! Do you mind.' **Castiel snapped, that was enough to snap Dean out of it as he jerked his hand back feeling fully embarrassed. Instead he mumbled an apology as he took a few steps away from the wing that slowly folded back up with the others.

"Sorry." Dean mumbled again. It was embarrassing because really he was feeling up a wing without permission. It didn't help that the silence that fell around them was awkward. Very awkward and Dean found himself shifting uncomfortably where he stood. He could hear the sounds of an eagle and a lion from next to him.

Dean had to wonder though, what had Castiel reacting like that? Was the wing that sensitive or something? Dean made sure he was gentle when he touched it. So then what did he do?

**'An angel's wings isn't sensitive as you think. Wings are never the same between angels, sometimes they are feathers like mine or made of other things as they are for other angels. It all depends on your temperament and what you feel in regards to humans and other things both living and dead. However, an angel's wing is a private matter that usually is only discussed or acknowledged by other angels. It is even more private for Archangels.' **Castiel explained calmly, Dean didn't know if the explanation was to make him angry of feel like shit though. But he did listen. On one had he did feel guilty for it, the wing as he understands is a clubs only sort of thing and to be touched by members. Something Dean isn't because he was only human.

A grey hand covered his shoulder in a gesture that was meant to be comforting and it was even though it covered pretty much all of his shoulder with delicate looking fingers that were stronger then what they appeared to be from what the firm grasp stood for.

**'It is not because you are just human, that is your gift by being what you are. There are some who envy you for being what you are. My wings have not been touched by another being, angel or otherwise for thousands of years. The last person to groom them you can say is Balthazar and then I only had one set of wings.' **Castiel explained calmly. Dean felt annoyed that Castiel was ignoring the whole don't read his mind thing again, but to be fair he did invade Castiel's personal space for once and touched his wing. He'll let the mind reading go this once.

"Huh... So Balthazar and you had a wing grooming session..." Dean hummed, though he was obviously thinking something different then what Castiel must have meant if the annoyed look and sounds he got from Cas was any indication.

**'Not like that, he was just being a friend.' **Castiel exclaimed stubbornly, Dean knows that Castile knows what Dean was getting at. The angel wasn't stupid, a bit nerdy perhaps but far from stupid.

"And grooming your wings... Was he trying to get into your skirt?" Dean couldn't help himself, teasing Castiel was way too much fun at times which was probably why he usually dragged Castiel with him to some situations like bars or strip clubs.

**'Dean! It wasn't like that, Balthazar and I were only friends. Grooming one's wings is a way to bond not... get into anyone's... skirt.' **Castiel insisted and Dean couldn't help it, he laughed. He didn't laugh often but somehow Castile was always able to get him to laugh even though it wasn't done purposely. The awkwardness of the situation seemed to ease a bit with the laughter even as it died down to a chuckle. Dean could see that a part of Cas was pleased as well. It was rare to get the angel to laugh, when he was crazy didn't count. But Dean knows how to get him to smile and at times that was Dean's personal goal.

"Relax Cas, I know. I know." Dean acknowledged, he eyed the wings again but refrained from touching them. It was harder to resist then he expected. When he finally pulled his attention away from the wings and regarded Castiel. Dean noted the odd expression and shifted because of it. Mumbling about using the bathroom Dean excused himself and tucked himself behind a thick enough tree that would allow himself to get a hold of himself.

What was wrong with him? That was the only question he could come up with. Dean regarded his hand for a moment. Perhaps this situation would be more difficult then he thought considering what was going on in his mind and the situation. The lack of control was unacceptable. Dean wasn't always one who looked to control everything but with what has happened he had to, his own emotions. His memories. His reactions to those memories. Sometimes it was a bit too much.


End file.
